The Perfect Pint

The Perfect Pint

My friend is a homebrewer and a beer enthusiast, when he drinks a beer he can tell you of the great many minor tastes that have so far mostly escaped my notice. He had been telling me to come over and help brew a batch of beer, but I had put it off for various reasons that is until last saturday. I went over to my friends house to get a lesson on brewing beer. Like many people my knowledge of the process of brewing beer was limited at best. I also made a mistake in my assumption that homebrewing was something similar to baking. You put together the ingredients and wait while it "bakes", but in this I was dead wrong. My friend took me on a journey through the process of making a batch of beer and when the ended my journey I found something I didn't expect. Every step of the process he walked me through like a master showing his apprentice what he would learn over his stay. With his instructions we began to craft a drink that at some point I hope to try. Mixing ingredients in one pot and transferring it into another pot for a brief stay over the fire made me think I was watching a modern day apothecary at work. Unlike an apothecary he was not making this to cure a cold or stop a headache, but to drink for the sheer pleasure of it. Finally showing me some of the different styles of beer he explained that homebrewing was not just about the brewing but about patience. The sour beers he showed me needed to be aged for years to achieve thier best flavor. As he had said, homebrewing was truly a mix of science and art and I was watching a master of it. After the lesson was all said and done we sat back to have a couple of beers while watching the world go by on his back porch. For a time as we sat there it was if the world around us had stopped, that nothing was happening outside what we saw. We talked for a while about his blog and the quest for the Perfect Pint. That's what he said was part of homebrewing, to work your entire life towards that goal of perfection and know you will never achieve it. Sitting there with him enjoying a few beers I came to a realization about the Perfect Pint. It's not just about how enjoyable the beer is or the complex mixture of flavors and aromas, it's about the people you enjoy it with. In my mind at least, that very afternoon we shared the perfect pint as we sat there. It was an experience that I shall treasure and never forget. Nor is it a memory that will ever slip from my mind, a Perfect Pint with a great friend.

Here's to great friends and the quest for the Perfect pint!

Tower part 4

Having some internet issues so I'll post when I can.

Trell was dragged off to an extravagant dining room with a long table filled with food, just looking at it made his mouth water. Amongst the traditional dishes he had grown up eating were others that he had never seen before. Kaitlyn sat at one end of the table casually eating a pear and watching him eye the food. The guards dropped him to the ground and left the room closing the doors behind them.

“Please sit down and eat.” Kaitlyn said gesturing to an open seat near her.

“I’m not hungry.” Trell managed to say trying to tear his eyes from the food. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, he hadn’t had anything to eat in a while.

“You must eat to keep your strength up. Otherwise you won’t last very long.” Kaitlyn said getting another wicked smile as she watched him eye the food longingly.

Trell felt his will bend and although he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction in thinking she had one he had to eat something. Reaching out to one of the plates that held wedges of cheese he kept his eyes on Kaitlyn to make sure she wasn’t tricking him in some way. Kaitlyn never made a move as he brought the cheese to his lips and took a bite, she simply smiled a bit more.

“I never did ask your name back at the camp.” Kaitlyn said setting aside her pear and watching Trell eat. “What do they call you?”

“Why would I tell you?” Trell asked between mouthfuls of food, his strength was returning and so was his defiance.

“What harm would it do?” Kaitlyn asked sitting back and looking slightly annoyed. “If you don’t want to give me your name then I’ll make one up for you. I think I’ll call you Hero. After all that’s what made me choose you.”

Trell remembered what happened back at the camp, she had called him a hero then too. While he didn’t want to give her his name to be defiant, it still wouldn’t do him any good to keep it to himself. She didn’t seem all that agitated that he wouldn’t give her his name.

“Trell. What’s your name?” Trell said in a mockingly polite tone.

“I have many names that people call me, but you may identify me as Mistress Kaitlyn.” Kaitlyn said watching Trell take a seat in one of the many open chairs around the table. He had already consumed his fill and was now just resting himself, it was time.

“Why did you take me?” Trell asked voicing the one question that had been on his mind since he got here.

“I need someone like you around. You will help me survive for a long time.” Kaitlyn said looking at Trell and wondering what the look on his face would be when it happened. Horror? Pleasure? Anger? Disgust? Or perhaps some mix of all of them?

“What do you mean?” Trell asked confused at what she was hinting at, the smile she had told him it wasn’t good.

“You are basically a pet, a very special pet.” Kaitlyn said getting up from her chair and moving swiftly to stand behind Trell.

Immediately Trell went to stand and run from her but it was too late, she grabbed him from behind and held him in an iron grip. The double doors that Trell had come through opened up to admit the same two guards that had been hauling him all over the tower. Between them they carried an immense full size mirror etched with runes along the edges. Setting it down in front of him he saw his reflection in the mirror with Kaitlyn standing behind him and holding him in place.

“What’s that for?” Trell asked terrified at what the answer might be.

“I like to watch while I feed.” Kaitlyn said a moment before she sunk her teeth into Trell’s neck finding the large artery and siphoning off some of the blood it carried into her mouth. Opening her eyes she looked at the mirror and saw Trell’s face had twisted into a mix of horror and amazement.

Over the years she had learned to make sure she didn’t siphon off too much blood while she drank. If she took in too much at once he would either pass out or die, neither of which she wanted. It had taken many years before she learned to balance her lust for blood with the life of the thing she was feeding on. Keeping a blood pet was a hard thing but she had effectively mastered this one aspect of it.

Trell felt himself being drained of something that he had never thought about in all of his life. While he was being drained though he felt something else filling the gap, a pleasure of some kind. He fought it, telling himself that this creature that had him was evil and whatever she did to him was wrong no matter how good it felt. He felt himself get dizzy and then just as he was about to fall over he felt her teeth leave his neck and something cold and soft press against the wound.

“Take him to a proper room this time. And make sure someone takes care of him.” Trell heard Kaitlyn say as he fell over into the waiting hands of the two guards. He felt himself start to be carried then whatever strength he had left him and darkness took him.

Veritas Secundum Veritas
-Botched

Tower part 3

A short bit I wrote over the weekend.

Trell woke to find himself in a small cell with a barred window as his only source of light in the dank darkness. Looking around he found there wasn’t anything else in the cell aside from a plate of food and the pile of blankets he was laying on. Standing up he crossed the cell to the plate of food and looked at the now stale bread and moldy cheese that were once fresh. How long had he been out? Turning his attention towards the window he grabbed the bars and hoisted himself up to look outside and see where his prison was. Much to his amazement the sight of the ocean greeted him, it stretched as far as the eye could see with no land in sight. Letting go of the bar’s he sat down in his cell wondering what the woman wanted from him. One little act of bravery had earned him this cell and whatever came with it. Trell was overcome with fear about what might happen to him and he began to wonder what he had gotten himself into. Trying to find some kind of comfort in the idea that he had saved the little girl from the woman’s whip he waited.

A few hours passed before he heard anything other than the relaxing sounds of the ocean from his barred window. A loud clang, then footsteps as something walked down what sounded like stairs towards him. A click sounded from the wooden door in front of him just before it swung open to reveal the woman from before. She was wearing a long black dress that hung down to just before the floor that rustled a little as she entered the cell to stand before him. Trell wasn’t feeling very defiant right now but he dredged up enough strength to say “What do you want?”

“You are going to join me for dinner.” The woman said smiling wickedly at him as if this were some kind of joke he couldn’t possibly understand.

“No thanks.” Trell said ignoring his grumbling stomach, he had to remain strong or else this woman would break him. “I’m not hungry.” At this the woman laughed hysterically causing Trell to look at her strangely, what was so funny? “What’s so funny?”

“You are! I must say I didn’t expect to get a jester along with a pet.” The woman said still laughing at Trell. “Come, you must clean yourself up before the meal.”

With that the woman left and two burly guards came in to haul Trell off his feet and to a bath. Trell struggled as much as he could but the two men were stronger than he was and he still felt weak from not eating. Surprisingly the two guards took him to a room with a bath in it and into the waiting hands of what looked like maids. Too weak to struggle any longer he let them scrub him down and dress him to look presentable. Through all of this Trell wondered why the woman would go through all of this trouble with him.

“Why does she care if I’m clean?” Trell managed to ask once the maids were finished dressing him.

“Mistress Kaitlyn does not like dirty things at her table.” One of the maids said after hesitating a bit. The maids then shuffled him out of the bathroom and back into the hands of the guards. Trell could hear them discussing something as he was dragged away, apparently he had not been told his purpose in the tower.

Veritas Secundum Veritas

Tower part 2

The second installment of my Tower story and currently all there is to it. Hopefully this weekend I'll write some more on it and begin posting whatever I do write.

Trell woke in the evening to the sounds of the creatures that were wandering about. The group now had a cart and the big man that had been carrying him before was now sitting next to him, when he saw that Trell was awake he grunted at the other members of the group. Trell attempted to move but found that he was tied up and gagged, was this some plot to kidnap him? And who was the she-demon that his father was talking about? The leader stepped back into the cart and took out a strip of black cloth that he tied around Trell’s eyes. Trell decided that he couldn’t do anything so he simply waited until he fell asleep. It seemed all Trell could do was wait until they arrived at their destination. Questions haunted his dreams as he came up with wild reasons of why the group was taking him away.

The few times Trell woke up, he always noticed that the cart was still moving along, they hadn’t reached their destination yet he thought. It seemed like days had gone by and Trell was beginning to get hungry when the cart finally stopped and he heard a group of voices as he was unloaded from the cart. The blindfold was torn away and he blinked at the bright sunlight. When his eyes adjusted he saw that he was in an encampment of some sort with a makeshift prison of sharpened stakes pointed inward and a couple of guards guarding a makeshift gate. The men that had taken him undid the ropes around him and motioned for the guards to open the gate. Shoving him into the prison the people that had brought him here walked over to a spot where food was being prepared and stood there watching the sky. There were a multitude of people in the prison, all of them around Trell’s age. The few girls that were in the prison were mostly sitting around crying, the boys were attempting to look brave in the face of danger but their faces betrayed their true feelings, they were scared.

Two guards soon came and delivered a large plate of meat and vegetables along with a large basin of water for everyone to share. Trell tried of thinking of any reason why they would want any of them, but couldn’t find any reason for him to be taken. Most of the children started out avoiding the plate of food as if it was poisoned but after some reassurance from the guards that it wasn’t they ate. After the meal, Trell decided to see if he could find out anything from the other prisoners. Although he asked everyone he could the effort was pointless in that no one knew why they were here.

“Guard!” Trell shouted at the nearest guard for the makeshift prison who turned around. “What are we all doing here? We have done nothing wrong!” The guard only shook his head in sadness and turned away lowering his head a little. There was something about the guards that were guarding the prison; they didn’t seem have the same demeanor as the people that had hauled him here. Trell was about to yell at the other guard when another boy stopped him.

“There’s no point, we all tried at one point but they just ignore us.” The boy said and Trell looked at him. The boy was a little bit younger than he was and had fiery red hair. Trell sighed to himself and was about to reply, but a steady drumbeat broke through the camp and the area began to get darker as if some gigantic cloud was blocking the sun. The camp bustled into activity as two tables were set up near the prison and a lot of spiced meats and cheese were put on them. A lot of people lined up by the edge of the tables, among them were the people that had grabbed Trell. Who were they setting up for? This question was going through Trell’s mind as everyone in the prison began to get up and watch. Soon the black clouds in the sky swirled around and descended until they began to take form of a rough black stone tower that sat hovering above the ground. A doorway appeared on the front of the tower and a woman dressed in a black gown stepped out of the doorway of the tower and gently floated down to the ground. All of the people in camp bowed to her and did not stand until she passed them and sat down in front of the two tables. Looking around at some of the other people Trell recognized the town’s mayor and several of the local merchants and guards. What was going on here?

“These are the finest spiced meats and cheese we could find, we hope they are to your liking.” the mayor said as he offered a bottle of wine to the woman from the tower in a kneeling position. The woman reached her hand onto the table and let her fingers brush against the various foods on it. Any villager would have killed for the foods that were there. The woman picked up a piece of cheese and bit into it, letting her face scrunch up in an instant she spit the cheese out and threw the rest onto the ground.

“This is peasant food!” The woman said throwing the wedge of cheese on the ground and stomping on it. The woman strode over to the prison door and motioned for the two guards to open it. Two more of the guards immediately rushed in and forced everyone into a line where she could view them one at a time. Striding down the line she examined each of the children individually and whenever she pointed to one of them the guards took them a couple steps forward. Reaching Trell she looked him up and down and he let a scowl take over his face, at this she only smiled a little and pointed to him. There was no warmth in the smile she gave, a hint of amusement perhaps but no warmth. When she reached the end of the line there were four children that had stepped forward, all of the children looked very nervous. Trell tried to put on a reassuring face for the others but he found that he just couldn’t, there was something about this woman that he didn’t like.

The woman stared at the four children and waved at two of them at which point the guards came and took them back into line. All there was left was Trell and the red haired boy that he had been going to talk to. “Bring a wedge of cheese to me.” The woman said to one of the guards in a commanding voice.

“But didn’t you say it was peasant food?” The guard said and quickly found himself thrown onto the stakes that lined the prison. The action happened so fast Trell didn’t even see what the woman did but he was sure that she was responsible for the action. The woman looked over at the other guard who had already hurried off to get a wedge of cheese. Taking the cheese wedge from the guard she offered it to both boys but neither of them dared move.

“It seems as if they are afraid of me and what I might do to them, but if they were really smart they would accept the offer or they could end up like that guard.” The woman said waving her hand to the guard impaled on the stakes. One of the girls began crying at the sight of the dead guard and the woman turned to her, letting a line of smoke come from her hand she let it come together in the form of a big black whip. Trell never considered himself to be very brave, but his father had taught him to protect those weaker than himself. In that moment knowing what would happen next he began to move and threw himself over the girl as the whiplash took him across his back splitting open his shirt and cutting the skin. Trell tried hard to not cry out and give the woman the satisfaction but he couldn’t help himself and let out a growl instead. Again and again the whip fell and Trell could feel the pain but he knew that the woman would get to hear him scream but he would spare the girl. The girl looked up at his face with tears in her eyes as she huddled down, but her face told him that she was grateful for his help. Anger coursed through his veins as he turned around and grabbed at the whip as it lashed out. Catching the whip he held it looking at the woman with intense anger in his face. The whole camp seemed to gasp together.

“Leave now!” Trell snarled at the woman whose face was growing happier and happier by the second.

“So you think you’re a bit of a hero eh? Well we’ll see how brave you are later! I will take him.” The woman said attempting to pull the whip back but Trell held it tight. The woman then dropped the handle of the whip and charged Trell with lightning speed and struck him in the stomach which knocked him off his feet. “Your mine now boy!” Were the last words Trell heard before he hit the ground and was beaten by the guards until he lost consciousness.

Veritas Secundum Veritas
-Botched

Tower part 1

Another old story this one is yet unfinished but I hope posting it here will inspire me to finish it.
It's untitled right now but I have the file marked as tower so that's what I'll leave it as.

Tower

The tower stairs had damp moss growing in patches as he ascended into darkness following his captor. The floors seemed to continue on forever and just when I was thinking that he might never reached the top, a door came into view just around the corner. The master of the tower stopped and took up the wrought iron handle and yanked the door open to find a round room beyond with a bed of straw in one corner and a water basin in another. The master ushered me in without a moment’s hesitation and I stood there in the center of the room waiting for someone to wake me up from this horrible nightmare, but no one did so.

“This is your new home.” The master said closing the door and locking it as she left. Reality clicked in just then about what had happened in the past two days.

Trell Orinto was working the fields just as he had always done. Trell encouraged his horse Sam to continue forward otherwise they would never get the fields plowed today. It was spring and since the snow had melted it was planting season again but first he had to make sure the fields were ready. Trell felt Sam stop for the second time that day and he decided he could give Sam a moments rest before continuing. Sam was getting on in years and Trell didn’t want him to die before they could afford a new horse. Trell wiped the sweat off of his brow and brushed back his dark black hair. Trell looked around the field and noticed that he didn’t have much left to do. Trell was about to continue his work when he saw his father and mother coming out into the fields waving their arms. Trell turned towards them and waited for them to get within earshot.

“What’s the matter?” Trell yelled out and waited for his parents to reach him.

“Quickly, we must get you inside before they come.” Trell’s father said as he grabbed his son’s arm and hurried him from the field with his mother in tow looking around frantically as if there was some kind of enemy around.

“What’s going on father? I need to finish plowing the fields.” Trell said as his father hauled him inside the house and let his wife shut the door quickly. In the distance Trell started to hear what he thought were horses heading towards their farm.

“We need to hide you for a time and pray that they don’t find you.” Trell’s father said as he took Trell down into the basement. Letting go of Trell for a moment Trell’s father began to shove aside a heavy shelf full of jars of jams and jarred fruit.

“Who is coming father?” Trell said a serious tone in his voice. Trell’s father finally finished moving the shelf aside to reveal a doorway. Opening the door Trell’s father grabbed Trell and shoved him to the room inside.

“The she-demons mercenaries are coming. We cannot let them take you” Trell’s father said slamming the door and locking it. As he struggled to bring the shelf back into place he heard the knock on the door upstairs and immediately doubled his effort and finished moving it into place. Afterwards he headed upstairs before they burst the door in.

Trell looked around the small room and found it to have a single pipe that seemed to lead to the outside but nothing else. Try as he might the hidden door would not budge with Trell’s strength and finally he gave up trying as he tried to listen to what was happening upstairs.

Upstairs the door broke open and a large man carrying an enormous bastard sword strapped to his back. The man glanced around the room before letting his eyes finally fix upon the man and woman in front of him.

“Where is your son?” The man asked looking at the two people standing in front of him.

“Somewhere safe and out of the hands of you and your demon masters hands!” Trell’s father said scowling at the two intruders. The man motioned with his hand to the two men behind him. The two men began to search through the house.

“I will ask again, where is your son?” The man said keeping his calm and looking bored.

“You will not take him! That she-demon can burn in hell for eternity!” Trell’s father yelled at the man. The man sighed and drew his bastard sword pointing it at Trell’s father.

“Tell us where he is or we will burn your house to the ground with you inside it!” The man said but there was no answer from Trell’s father.

A grunt was heard and Trell heard the sliding of something from in front of the secret door and soon the door opened. Trell felt rough hands grab him and hauled upstairs to where his father was being menaced by a man with a sword. Trell’s mother was in shock and his father was being threatened with a sword. Trell tried to struggle away from the man to help his father but to no avail.

“Ah there he is. Well then we will be off, if your lucky your son will return in a few days.” The man said to Trell’s father, Trell assumed this man was the leader of the group.

“What do you want with me!?” Trell asked still trying to struggle free.

“It’s not us that want anything with you, its Qoullia that might want you.” The leader said motioning for the group to leave the house. Trell’s father attempted to grab the man that held Trell, but he was batted aside as if he were a fly. Trell’s father fell and hit his head on a wall falling unconscious immediately. Trell’s mother ran to his side but never stopped staring at Trell as he was dragged off. Trell tried to give his mother a reassuring look but judging by her reaction he failed.

As the group left the house Trell felt that if he could find some kind of tool nearby he might be able to fend off the man holding him and return to help his father. This hope was short lived as one of the men walked up and hit Trell on the head with a club, Trell’s vision began to swim and soon the world turned black.

It's been a little while

Well I don't exactly have the best of excuses for the hiatus (not that anyone reads this). I did have an internet blackout for a couple of weeks but chalk the rest up to laziness. Anyways it's time to bring out a segment I have always been meaning to write.

The lights go on revealing a well laid out kitchen with a tall man with black hair standing behind the counter. The counter is lined with ingredients for the main dish.

"Now it's time for Cooking with Chris!" A loud voice announces to the cheers of the audience.

"Welcome everyone to my cooking show!" The host Chris said gesturing to the set. "Today we're going to be making my world famous waffles."

Grabbing a large mixing bowl from one end of the counter and pouring some pre-made pancake mix and adding in some other ingredients.

"You can make this from scratch but honestly there really isn't any difference. It will come out the same in the end." Chris said whisking the batter deftly. "It is also very useful to get out your waffle iron at this point."

Putting the bowl down Chris looked around trying to find the waffle iron. Cursing as he rummaged through the cupboards and looked around the counters. Opening one cupboard a large selection of pots tumbled out knocking him to the ground.

"Who packed these cupboards! I do not need more than two onions people!" Chris yelled coming out from the mess of cookery that fell on him and tossing some onions towards the sink. "Ah I found the waffle iron!"

Setting the waffle iron on the counter Chris whisked the batter a little bit more before setting it aside.

"Now we pour in some batter." Chris said grabbing a measuring cup and scooping the batter from the bowl and onto the waffle iron. "We close the lid and wait a few minutes."

A few minutes later

"It's very important not to open the lid too soon. Otherwise..." Chris said as he opened the lid and frowned as the waffle was torn in half. "That happens. God damnit! Hold on while I scrape this off."

Several minutes of scraping later

"Alright this time let's try greasing the iron and leaving it in longer. Despite what you think I have done this before." Chris said as he took a stick of butter and greased the iron. "Let's try this again."

Scooping more batter onto the waffle iron he set the top of the iron down gently and waited. It didn't take long for the batter begin to overflow and send Chris scrambling to clean it up.

"Too much batter is a bad thing. But you should clean this up before it dries and becomes more difficult." Chris said with increasing agitation as he tried to clean the waffle iron. "Ow I burned my finger!"

Several minutes later

"It is always a good idea to have a first aid kit on hand when working in the kitchen." Chris said holding up his hands with a total of five fingers bandaged. "Now our waffle should be finished. Let's see how it turned out."

Opening the waffle iron once again tore the waffle in half.

"Son of a bleep bleep. god damn bleep, bleeping bleep." Chris yelled picking up the waffle iron with his bare hands and throwing it across the room. "My hands, bleep bleep!"

Four burly men wearing shirts with station logos on the back rushed out to restrain Chris from picking up any of the knives in the kitchen. The four men wrestled Chris to the ground just before the screen cut to technical difficulties.

Several minutes later

The screen comes back in on Chris with his hands and several other body parts bandaged. He has a goofy looking smile on his face and looks totally out of it.

"That concludes our segment of cooking with Chris. Tune in next time for more cooking fun." Chris says in an almost too pleasant tone.

Philosophy 1 - Personal realities

I never understood why I thought of and asked myself questions. It just didn't seem to have any use, why ask a question that I already knew the answer to? I'm still not sure why I do it but there have been several questions I asked myself a lot over the years. One of my favorites was if I believed in god or a higher power in general. My answer started with yes, then changed to no then to maybe. Now my answer is far more refined and has become a philosophical point I wish to share with you.

Do you believe in god or a higher power?

I believe in possibilities. As in it's possible that there is one god or ten thousand of them. I have a tendency to believe in everything and nothing at the same time, as such it allows me to say my belief is in possibilities. However I believe that god is real for everyone that believes in him. I call it a personal reality, the belief in something that makes it real to that person.

Your belief in something makes it real for you. That's pretty much the gist of it and I could ramble on for a long time on how we defined reality over the years but I won't. To someone that believes in god or allah or any other god, they are as real as their next door neighbors or the clothes they wear. For those that don't believe god is just as fictional as a character from a book. We each define our own reality this way.

"You don't have to believe in what others say to listen to them."

All the thoughts in the world
-Botched88

Cruel Irony

Today as a partial break I'm going to explore what I call the cruel irony of writers.

Like most writers for a long time I was an extremely avid reader. I consumed books like they were daily meals and enjoyed every minute of it. As time went on though I read less and less, until for a long period of time I completely stopped reading. During that time I did a lot of writing though, not anything of use but a lot of writing. After this period had passed and I started reading again I realized the cruel irony of being a writer. The more I write the less I read, the cruel irony of a lot of writers is that they don't read anymore. Reading is what inspired us to write in the first place and once we begin we lost the desire or will to read. We gained a new skill but we lost the thing that made us want to gain that skill. I have to laugh at this because I remember a quote from the anime Full Metal Alchemist, the law of equivalent exchange. "To obtain something of equal value must be lost." I guess the loss of our desire to read is the equivalent exchange of our desire to write. Nevertheless this is the cruel irony of writers.

There are times when I really hate my life.

All the luck in the world
-Botched

Office wars Part 2

The final part of Office wars.

Office wars: Part 2

Everyone moved into position as Peter gave the signal to move forward with the plan, Kevin was at the door to the fourth floor when Bob reported that they were in position. Peter made sure everyone was ready before he gave the order to kill the lights. Kevin rushed in just after the lights cut out and moved along his pre-designated path as the emergency lights kicked in, they began clearing every cubicle. Peter went in and strangely found the place to be very quiet and empty looking.

“Keep your guard up everyone, they’re here somewhere.” Peter said through the headset and began to move through the cubicle maze checking every one of them for accountants but not finding any.

“Hey look twenty bucks.” One of the IT guys said going over in front of the cubicle to pick it up as Peter screamed no! The man was taken down instantly by a man wielding what looked like a very large roll of pennies using it as a club. Peter shot the man immediately and as soon as that happened all hell broke loose. The accountants that were good at hiding assets were also good at hiding themselves as they came out of nowhere to throw CD’s at the IT guys. Using dollar bills to lure those foolish enough to try for them was easy and it would end up with the person falling to their attacks. This situation was getting worse by the minute.

“Black bishop, this is kingmaker, time to move out into the open. Beware of dollar bill traps and flying CD’s. I need you to advance through the cubicles and free us from our current position.” Peter said as his team was pressed back along the same wall as Kevin’s.

“I’m on my way, stay safe Kingmaker.” Bob replied as he open the doors to the elevator and led his team through the cubicles. The office was dark but Bob managed to lead his team through the cubicles with little difficulty. The problem was that the accountants were always hidden and very hard to spot. “HQ, this is black bishop, I need you to run a stock market crash simulation on every computer on the fourth floor.”

“Roger that, give us ten seconds.” HQ responded as Bob instructed his men to take out the accountants as they came out from their hiding places.

“Kingmaker, we are going to run a stock market crash simulation to see if we can scare out the accountants. We are not in your line of fire so fire at will.” Bob said just as the simulation appeared on every computer screen on the fourth floor. The accountants rushed to make sure everything was alright with the company’s stock and got picked off as soon as they left their hiding places.

Once the last accountant fell, the teams swept the rest of the office looking for anything of use. The CD’s would only be useful that was trained in the accounting way of CD throwing. Taking stock of the number of troops they had left, Peter saw that what was once forty-seven was down to twenty-three. This area had taken a toll on their numbers and had gained them no new weapons. Before Peter even asked the floor plans for the fifth floor came up onto the computer screens. The floor seemed to be very open and full of just tables scattered around the room.

“That’s a strange floor plan, precede with caution everyone there will be very little cover. Shield bearers are in front and everyone else moves in behind them until we know what we are dealing with.” Peter said and everyone nodded, this time they would all take the stairs up.

With the lights back on after the assault on accounting Peter knew that they would have very little cover if it came to a firefight. Opening the door they all rushed in behind the shield bearers only to find that the people sitting at the tables never looked up. The people sat behind the tables folding paper or licking envelopes. Peter knew what this was, he had heard rumors about this place but never thought it existed.

“What is this place?” Kevin said looking at the dazed look in the people’s eyes.

“Interns, I had heard a rumor that they kept interns doing meaningless tasks that will never end. My guess is that they have been doing this thing for little pay for the last eight years with the promise of advancement into better positions.” Peter said walking over to one of the tables.

“You’re kidding!?” Mary said looking at the fifteen or so interns that sat behind the table doing the same task over and over again.

“I’m afraid not, the ones that you see here are the ones that have slipped into a delusional state of mind where they still believe that after all this time the management that hired them still remembers that they are here.” Peter said raising his gun to one of them and firing.

“What are you doing!?” Kevin said watching as Peter shot every one of them.

“It is more mercy than anything else, they are too far gone to recover from this state of mind.” Peter said finishing off the last of the interns. “We move out, there is only three floors left.”

Everyone headed back down the fourth floor to check the blueprints for the sixth floor, this floor was for the legal team that belonged to the company. Several large offices occupied the floor but some smaller desks were also on the main floor. There would not be a lot of cover, so they would have to proceed behind the shields.

“There isn’t much cover but we can use the desks as cover as we advance to them, do not turn your back to the offices.” Peter instructed as everyone got ready to take on the legal team.

The stairwell was empty as always as Peter and his group approached the door, his team would be going in first this time. With the shields as cover peter figured they would have an easy time breaking through the small legal team. Nodding to the others he opened the door and followed the shield bearers inside. Large gobs of white out concealing little balls of pure tape pelted the shields as the group made their way into the office and began firing back. Three large tape balls landed near the shield bearers and exploded in a shower of contracts and paperwork. Two of the shield bearers were knocked off their feet and a third shield was shredded by the razor sharp paper. Several fell to the contract grenades and the legal team kept throwing them.

“Advance, if we get close enough they can’t use those!” Peter yelled and the teams quickly tried to advance behind the shield bearers to the first set of overturned desks. A grenade bounced behind Kevin and he looked down as another IT guy took a bucket he was using as a helmet and dove on the grenade. The explosion knocked the man back into the wall but it was contained to just him.

“You bastards!” Kevin yelled as he fired and took out two more of the legal team. One was about to throw another grenade and fell back letting it roll over to another two members as it exploded. It looked like the battle had been won when the glass on both of the offices shattered and the two head lawyers got up with two very large guns firing white out covered tape balls. The tape balls hit many as the lawyers continued to fire into the crowd. Peter saw his shield bearer begin to fall and took up the shield, charging one of the offices he leapt through the broken window and crashed into the lawyer. Taking out his back up weapon he finished off that lawyer.

Bob and the others managed to shoot the other lawyer twenty-three times before he went down. Peter came out of the office and surveyed the damage, most of the people were gone. All that was left of his army was the three other generals and three men that were only slightly wounded. He wanted to order HQ to come up to help them but he needed them to provide information on what they would encounter on the next two floors. Peter patted everyone on the shoulder in turn as he walked over to one of the offices and looked at the computer. HQ had already sent up the floor plan, there were offices on that floor but a challenge had come in from the executives to take them on in the board room.

“We won’t have an advantage, but at least the numbers are even. The board room isn’t very large and there isn’t much cover, so use whatever you can as a shield. Were almost there everyone, remember we will be kings.” Peter said showing everyone the small section of the floor plan that contained the board room.

“It could be a trap.” Kevin said looking at the plan.

“It probably is, but we don’t have any other option.” Peter said taking up one of the lawyer’s pistols, the two guns the head lawyers used were both out of ammo.

“Let’s go then, let’s be kings!” Bob said heading over to the elevator.

Peter knew it was probably a bad idea to ride up in the elevator but at this point he was beyond caring, the war had raged from mid-morning and now it was getting dark at six o’clock. They would have left work an hour ago if he had let it go, but they had come this far, it wasn’t a time for regrets. The elevator door opened to a hallway that led to the board room, there was no one in the hallway. The group proceeded to the board room door and entered into the very nice room. The room had a single wood table with leather chairs around it. The executive board consisted of seven people and they were all lined up along the far wall with their weapons ready.

“Good evening, it has been quite an eventful day hasn’t it?” One of the board members said looking at Peter as the rest of the group filed into the room.

“It has, but we will be glad to see it end.” Peter said raising his gun with everyone else and firing, the lights went out just as he had planned. By the time the emergency lights had kicked in everyone in the room was down on the ground. Peter was the only survivor of the firefight in this room and he looked down at everyone, it was now up to him to finish it.

Making his way to one of the executives he grabbed a keycard from his pocket and went to the elevator. Swiping the keycard for access to the final floor where the CEO worked, he wondered to himself whether it was all worth it. The elevator opened on the final floor, the CEO was sitting behind his desk staring forward at Peter.

“Come in Peter. I’ve been watching you since you started.” The CEO Ryan Maturn said looking at the gun Peter had in his hand, he had a more powerful one in front of him on his desk.

“This ends now.” Peter said raising the gun slightly and Ryan waved him down.

“You know that if you lose this fight then you will not achieve your goals, but if you give me the gun then I will make you an executive. Great pay and little work to do, it doesn’t sound so bad does it?” Ryan said to Peter as he rested his hand on his own gun.

“I would be able to retire after a while, be able to afford all the things I’ve ever wanted.” Peter said lowering the gun slightly.

“That’s right, it can all be yours if you just give me the gun.” Ryan said grabbing his own gun and walking around the desk. “You will become more than a simple worker, you will become one of societies elite! Isn’t that what you want, to gain the respect you rightfully deserve?”

“It would be great to have that power, to have that money, and I wouldn’t have to deal with stupid people anymore.” Peter said as Ryan advanced to stand right in front of him.

“Yes, you wouldn’t have to deal with them ever again, you could get all that. Just give me the gun.” Ryan said as he began to reach for Peter’s gun. Peter looked down at the gun and saw the handkerchief that Mary had used to bind the scratch he got on the third floor. Suddenly it all came back to him, the battles they fought and the people they lost, all to make the people of the IT department kings. If he took this offer, he would have failed in making anyone a king. Raising his gun he shot Ryan twice in the chest and then once in the head.

“We will be kings, and nothing will stop that.” Peter said as he set the gun down on the desk and contacted HQ. “HQ, this is Kingmaker, we’ve won.”

“Glad to hear it kingmaker, unfortunately we got raided after we sent you the plans for the executive floor. We got the bastards but were not going to make it. Good luck Kingmaker.” One of the people from HQ said and Peter lowered his head and sat down in the leather chair behind the CEO desk. He truly was king.

Ten years later

Peter was walking out of the elevator into the IT department as he did sometimes to make sure everything was alright. Saying hello to the employees he passed he remembered what happened here ten years ago. Would the same thing happen again?

As Peter walked through the rows of servers and computers he found the new leader of the IT department down here with what looked like an Intern. Peter walked up to them to say hello.

“Hi guys, what’s happening down here?” Peter said and both the intern and the head of the IT department both looked up from what they were doing.

“Not much sir, everything is in order I hope?” The leader said and Peter just nodded.

“Sir, if it’s not too much to ask. I was wondering if you could tell me how you went got to your position when you started as a simple IT technician.” The intern said and Peter laughed and thought about it for a minute before responding.

“With a steady hand, great accuracy, and the courage to climb the corporate ladder the hard way.” Peter said turning around to leave as the intern looked at him confused. “Oh and great friends.”

Peter returned to his office on the top floor and thought about the intern, would the intern start the same thing that Peter did? Peter opened his drawer and took out the gun he had finished off the previous CEO with, he had always kept it full of ammo and cleaned. Suddenly the lights went out all over the building, Peter laughed to himself and grabbed the gun. Was this a simple power outage or had it begun again?

The End

So ends the office wars. Hope you enjoyed it.

All the luck in the world
-Botched

Office wars Part 1

This one is split into two parts. I hope you enjoy it.

Office Wars

Peter huggins sat down behind his desk as he did every day to work. Peter worked in the IT department of a large corporate office, what exactly the office did he wasn’t sure. The day was ordinary enough as he conversed with his coworkers and checked the network and the servers for problems. About mid morning someone from sales came out of the elevator, everyone groaned at this. Sales people never understood what went on down here and either asked a stupid question that they had answered a hundred times before or they belittled what they did down here. Today was no exception to this state of affairs as the sales person walked right up to Peter.

“There is a problem with the network, fix it.” The sales person said to Peter as he stood there with his coffee mug in one hand.

“What exactly is the problem with the network?” Peter said trying to control his anger at this demand.

“I don’t know, it’s just not working for me. So throw a couple of switches and plug in some wires or whatever to make it work.” The sales person said turning around and walking back towards the elevator. The other IT people tried to console Peter by pointing out that the guy was obviously on a lower standard than stupid. Peter would not be consoled today though, he had heard the same demand fifty times before and now was the time to put an end to this.

Walking over to his desk Peter pulled out a gun that shot spit wads, he then proceeded to fire it at the sales person as he was about to hit the elevator button. The spit wad hit the man right in the back of the head and he fell forward and collapsed. The rest of the IT department gasped at this, no one had done this before. The guns were there in case someone went berserk, in that case the rest of the office was tasked to stop them. People were already reaching into their desks for their own guns to put a stop to this.

“Hold on everyone, we have tolerated this for eight years. We have put up with their stupid comments and idiotic suggestions, the time has come we show this office who really runs the show here. If we can take control of the building then we can all be the executives that step down on the morons that don’t know what they’re doing. Join me and we will be kings!” Peter said looking around at the fifty IT people in the room, they all wanted something better than working in the basement of this place dealing with morons all day. Could it work though, no one had ever tried something like this before.

“I’m in, we’ve put up with them for too long.” Bob said standing next to Peter, Bob was the manager of the entire department down here. After Bob joined on the rest of the department followed and they began to gather weapons and formulate a plan, they would do it today. They couldn’t stop until they had conquered the building, if they hesitated they would fall.

All doors to the outside were locked remotely and Peter left three IT people behind to work the network as they moved upstairs. The first floor was reception and there were two receptionists and a security guard on duty. They were dispatched easily as the group moved to the stairs to make their way to the second floor. There was a supply closet on the second floor that should be of use and it was also the floor of the dreaded sales people. Peter led the way up the stairs and they walked onto the sales floor with everyone in their little cubicles on the phone, the phone lines had been cut only minutes before so everyone was in a state of confusion. Peter’s group fanned out looking like they were here because of that, it was working until Peter walked right up to manager of the floor and shot him twice in the chest. The floor erupted into chaos but Peter’s team had already positioned themselves, most went down in the first volley but one person managed to use the interoffice network to send out a message. The IT people in the basement were unable to snag the message before it alerted the rest of the building.

“Take their headsets, communication will be easier now.” Peter said grabbing a headset and walking over to a computer. “Tune the headsets to channel 8 and someone send three down to our comrades in the basement.”

“The floor is cleared Kingmaker.” Bob said through the headset. Peter thought about the word Kingmaker and he liked it.

“Bob you will be black bishop, Kevin you are black knight, and Mary you are black queen. Remember your call signs and put together your teams, they will know we are coming this time. Basement team you will be HQ.” Peter said organizing everyone into groups so they could move easier. “HQ, send me floor plans for the second floor to terminal 12.”

The plans came up on the screen and Peter gave them a quick look over before calling his generals to him. They all looked at the floor plan on the screen noting each and every exit and the locations of any supply closets. Just then a call came in over the headset from one of the IT guys doing a search of the floor.

“Found the supply closet sir.” The man said over the headset.

“Good, bring everything out into the conference room.” Peter said looking back to the plans he had. “Alright black bishop you will enter through the door and proceed left towards the managers office. Black Knight proceed straight through the door with your team and take cover they will be trying to plan something. Black queen you and I will head right towards the supply closet. Watch your crossfire everyone and keep in communication at all times.”

The group nodded to each other as Peter walked over to the conference room to see what they had recovered. Staples, rubber bands, paper and paperclips mostly, not quite what he wanted but it would have to work. A sound was heard as the elevator stopped at the floor and everyone moved into a position to shoot whoever was inside. Inside the elevator was the man Peter had sent down to give headsets to HQ. He walked over to peter with a large box and set it down on the table.

“Kiko from downstairs says she has been working on these for a few months now.” The man said pulling out what looked vaguely electronic with wires coming out of everywhere and an unmistakably short barrel. “She says it fires rubber bands at a fast rate.”

Peter nodded his approval and distributed the ten that were made among the teams, each would take a bit to reload so he gave instructions to cover each other as they reloaded. Those using the new weapon each took several bags of rubber bands, the rest were spread out amongst the rest as they took the guns the salesmen had. These new guns used rubber bands mostly but the occasional paper clip firing weapon was found. With the plan laid out and ammo distributed the IT group moved to the stairwell. Peter hit the up button for the elevator and hit the button for floor three before he went into the stairwell.

The group gathered in the stairwell outside the third floor, Bob’s group would go in first, then Kevins and finally Mary and Peter’s. The man at the door heard the ding of the elevator and nodded, the door was swung open and the IT group stormed the room. Everyone was moving according to plan but already there were two casualties, this floor housed marketing so the employees were using their gigantic sales charts as shields as they fired back. Peter and Mary were moving along the right wall towards the supply closet and were encountering minimal resistance.

“Ambush! Kingmaker this is black bishop, we have been ambushed and are cut off from the main force. Request assistance over!” Bob said over the radio, as soon as he said that two people from the back of his line fell. Peter ran forward with the rest and opened a supply closet door for a makeshift shield.

“This is Kingmaker, reserve unit enter the room and head for black bishop’s group on the left side, I repeat left side!” Peter said as he reached around the door and fired at his ambushers.

The reserve unit was the unit Peter would normally leave but he left them behind just in case of such an event. The unit came through the door and moved along the left wall until they came behind the enemy position harassing Bob’s group. The unit quickly dispatched them and moved off to the right wall to deal with the second ambush.

Peter was still firing when he heard the reserve unit told him to hold his fire as they got into position. Peter was pulling back his arm when something struck his hand, he dropped his gun and pulled behind the door. Peter removed the staple from the back of his hand, it just grazed it but it still hurt.

“Kingmaker, are you injured?” Mary said looking down at Peter’s hand.

“It’s just a scratch, no big deal.” Peter said grabbing his gun and waiting for word from the reserve unit. Mary took a handkerchief out of her pocket and tied it around Peter’s hand concealing the wound. Peter nodded his thanks as he received word from the reserve team that they were clear.

“This is black knight to Kingmaker, we could use some help down the center. I can’t get past the goddamn shields.” Kevin said as he ducked back behind a filing cabinet.

“Black bishop, see if you can move behind the enemies position, we will try and do the same. Watch your crossfire everyone!” Peter said signaling for the reserve team to join them. Peter handed out two large charts that seemed to have been ditched in the closet some time ago. Peter moved towards the back of the office and met up with Bob, they both made their way behind the marketers position and began firing. When the marketers turned to deal with this new threat they got hit in the back by Kevin’s team.

“Clear.” The word came from all teams as they quickly swept the office for any survivors. They had lost eight people in this assault, but everyone knew they couldn’t stop until they took the whole building.

“Collect the shields and see if the guns are useful. HQ, need a floor plan for the fourth floor on terminal thirty-eight.” Soon after Peter said that the floor plan came up on the screen. This place would be tricky, it was accounting and the entire floor was a cubicle maze. There were a lot of routes that they could take but every one of them could easily lead to an ambush. “Alright everyone here is what we are going to do. Black bishop, you are taking the elevator up with your team and once it hits the floor, hit the stop button to make sure the doors don’t open. Open them when we tell you to, not a moment before.”

“Black knight you will be taking the stairs and will enter first, remember one shield in the front and one in the rear at all times. I will enter about ten seconds after your team goes. Remember to clear each and every cubicle, memorize this plan everyone because once we go up there we will be in a whole mess of cubicles. HQ, when I tell you to shut down the lights on that floor, the emergency lights will come on soon after but it might give us a better shot.” Peter said turning to Kevin, this plan would have to work.

------

Will Peter take his war all the way to the top? Find out tomorrow.

You'll have to forgive the grammatical and spelling errors. It was one of my earlier stories and I just didn't feel like cleaning it up at this point. Hopefully soon I'll have some newer stories to post up here.

All the luck in the world
-Botched

The book that survived

Well I'll be starting off this blog with some of my old stories while I work up the will to write new ones.

The Book that Survived

Archaeologists continue to try and unearth the relics of the past, from our world before the cataclysm. No one remembers now what life was like before that awful turn of events but we do remember the date of when it happened. August 12^th 2032. One day a very lucky archaeologist found a book on one of his digs, this was an incredible find because all of the books had been destroyed at some point. Still this one had managed to not only survive the destruction of the others but kept itself largely intact, the cover was worn off and it was beaten up badly but for the most part it was there. Immediately the archaeologist gained praise for this massive find and scientists immediately began to study this old book. Carefully they copied every page and had translators work for days on this book written in an old language. The old language was similar to their own so they didn’t have much difficulty. The date on the book was checked and they saw that this book was from 2012, 20 years before the cataclysm. It was the find of the century and then the scientists read the book. The book told of a civilization of epic proportions but despite it’s size and grandeur the city was hugely corrupt. They had incredible technology but it did little for the people’s hearts. The book followed one man, a mercenary as he was called as he fought to save his lovers life from these corrupt people. The story had a happy ending and was translated many times into many languages, the scientists were appalled to think that civilization had been so terrible before the cataclysm. The story from the book was reprinted in other books and for years children were taught to stick to their morals and fight against such corruption like the characters in the book. For once in their life the scientists and people began to believe that the cataclysm was a good thing and that they were better off now than before.

What was this book’s title, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is the genre the book was written in. Science fiction.

All the luck in the world
-Botched